if you were a j boy, these are the things you would have been doing this week:

*if you were a big j, you would have played your recorder at a pork feed fundraiser for the school. if you've never heard 40 recorders playing "Hot Cross Buns" at the same time, you are seriously missing out. if you've never eaten school fundraiser pork sandwiches, you are also seriously missing out.

*if you were a little j, you would have completely thrown dog obedience class into a tailspin by throwing your toy football into the air during the "stay without a leash" portion of class.

*if you were a big j, you would have given a demonstration speech on the game of chess and gotten a 100%, because despite your shy nature, you somehow love giving speeches.

*if you were a little j, you would have won the Stanley Cup at your hockey practice. then, you would have crashed into the boards carrying the big, plastic Stanley Cup over your head and it would have broken. and your dad would fix the base of it by spray painting a plastic bowl silver and gluing it back on.

*if you were j boys, you would make your mom jump on the trampoline and tell her how awesome it is when she jumps because her weight makes you go really high.

*you would also jump on the trampoline for hours and not want to go to bed on a school night.

*if you were a little j, you would act really cool in front of your friends and play hard with boys older than you and not hug your mom at school...but you would still want to sleep with a stuffed pig and a bunny every night.

*if you were a big j, you would tell your dad you love him twice in one night, and then you would turn around and tell your cat the same thing.

*if you were j boys, you would have talked your mom into buying "oops all berries" captain crunch cereal and it would have turned the milk greenish blue and you would dare your mom to drink it.

and she would.