"...he interacts well with others, but does not initiate the contact. He would rather work and play alone..."
the kindergarten report cards came out yesterday. again, i worry. i'm an outgoing person. what is it like to "rather work and play alone?" sigh. why does it make me so sad?? i have to remember that my son is not me. he's someone so completely different than me, and yet in many ways he really is the same. he's pretty sensitive like his mom. he has a temper like me (yes, really) a very strong will (yep again) and i actually do really like being alone, like him.
part of me knows his teacher is busy, she's got all these other kids to watch after...she doesn't really KNOW him. she doesn't get to see his goofy side. she doesn't get to snuggle with him, or see him raise his hockey stick with pride after scoring a goal. she can't see him right now, upstairs with a friend, laughing and playing. she sees the kid who is a little bit bored with kindergarten, who decides to just dissolve into his own head rather than read along with kids who are only learning to sound out their vowels. i know that he has a way of disappearing, even when he's sitting right in front of me. this is what she sees. and i just can't stop the mama bear...there was something about those words "he would rather work and play alone" that just BIT ME. does she think he's a freak? does everyone? and WHY does this bother me so much????
it's not right. i really really need to get over it. i know that God is the only one who knows how to help us both get through this. i see years and years of heartache and struggle ahead between two very strong-willed people if i don't just let him be him. he's not me. he never will be.
that was my own little pep talk. thanks for listening.
8 Comments:
Carey, I know we talked about this the other day but I just wanted to say...hang in there. You know your child better then any teacher and from my own experience and tears with my "problem child" don't let the words that they say get you down or make you doubt what you know. We have had 1 teacher in 4 yrs that got Griffen. I pray that you will find a teacher that can get yours too.
11:11 AM
And you will, we aren't all bad. There really are teachers out there that only see one type of kid, and that to me is so sad. Those teachers are missin out. Thank God for those teachers that will get him! I never forgot those teachers that got me. And Carey, he is unique, celebrate that. If you can let him be who he is, the sky is the limit for him, and you will learn so much watching him blossom. I love you!
7:35 PM
Oh, and that is a great picture of him!!
7:42 PM
Someone recently told me that my son is 'all boy'. I wasn't sure how to take it. He is my baby, sure, he tends to be wild and loud and maybe even out of control at times. I won't take him to church by myself or rather anywhere where he has to be 'contained'. I am sure some people have already formed opinions about him. I can only try my best to love him and care for him and find the patience to play with him as he goes through life learning the hard way. Sometimes I am sure it will be challenging and my heart will ache and tears will fall. I pray that others will give him the benefit of the doubt and not judge him for being the wild man he is. May God grant us the patience to deal with the people who make assumptions about our children based upon a few precious hours spent with them. Little do they know what goes on in those tiny heads every other minute of the day. We cannot know either, but we can hug them and tell them that life is a test and we are going to pass the test and go to heaven as soon as Jesus comes to get us. Heaven is ours no matter what 'grade' we receive here on earth. Life is hard and can make us sad, scared and even angry. Try to remember that the reward of Heaven is so worth it and it may make the journey a little less difficult:) You are in my prayers...
7:48 PM
you rock. thank you for your kind words and advice.
as for your 'all boy', God knew his daddy needed one of those to play with. thank Him for knowing what's best, and hug that all boy tight. he's a keeper.
8:35 PM
My mom used tell me she hurt twice as bad when her kids were going through something. The first day A wasn't included in something I hurt so much for her I wanted to cry. She on the other hand brushed it off and went on with life.
You know these little people do what they are supposed to do. They don't know nor do they care about the comments from a teacher, peers etc. They are content and that is what it sounds like J is. He is happy, safe and has a good heart. That is all that matters. Report cards, conferences are harder on parents than anyone. It is hard to hear your unique, amazing child described in general terms.
A was a loner. I used to worry, don't the other kids like her, why won't they play with her? Dan told me to let her work it out and you know what? She did. It wasn't that A wasn't being asked to play she just didn't want to. It was her exercising her free will. I gave her the space she needed to be her and we are both the better for it.
Deep down we re-live school and life through our children, it is difficult, but think of all the things you wish you knew then that you do now. You can give J those little gifts and tell him he is amazing, cause he is.
9:01 AM
Oh, buddy. I think your heart is hurting needlessly. He is such a cool, cool kid. To anyone with the time to notice, he is a happy, well-adjusted, NORMAL boy. God has great plans for that brain, so try not to wish it was different.
I'm sure the problem is really that he is smarter than his teacher. You should probably get used to that. :-)
2:52 PM
Just thought of something from my subbing days. Do you know that the "personalized" comments on your kid's report-card are chosen from a drop-down menu? The whole report card is computerized, and as the harried teacher flies through them, she simply clicks on a comment for your kid.
Remember this, and then thank God that your kid cannot be described by a drop-down menu.
2:55 PM
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