so yesterday i'm running errands with the j boys. about halfway through my day, i realize something funny. when i'm holding both their hands across busy streets, or in the mall or a parking lot...I always have my left arm way out front, trying to pull my "leap before i think" little guy back. And my right arm is stretched behind me, pulling my "study before i step" big kid forward. we are never lined up in a row, side by side, like the families in the movies. i'm always pulling one back, and the other forward, trying to maintain my balance somewhere in the middle.

the scariest thought to me...the one that can bring tears to my eyes if i think about it...is what happens when the time comes to let go of their hands?

will the little guy remember that life can be dangerous, and to watch out as he's running headfirst into it?

will my big guy just get lost in his own little world, too absorbed to be a part of the bigger picture?

and what will happen to me, when i have to let go?

i have a feeling i will still walk around with my left hand forward and my right hand back...just in case.