another hockey weekend come and gone. this weekend the games were all in mitchell, which means that we "host" them and are responsible for announcing, scorekeeping, playing the music, etc. i pretty much always end up in the little frozen box--mostly because the other parents were smart enough not to learn how to do it.

i'm not real sure how well i learned, because the whole deal is usually a comedy of errors. including the fact that i generally slaughter the last names of little kids on the visiting team, and then quietly giggle about it with the microphone still on. or the fact that i often forget to shut the music off after the face-off, simply because i'm enjoying the song (hockey is all about 80's rock and roll, you know). or the fact that i get confused and hit the horn for a line change when they still have another minute left to play. or forget to start or stop the time at all.

but yesterday was my all-time best. after announcing both teams, and thoroughly killing poor #77's last name, i said in my most respectful voice, "please rise for the national anthem."

and then promptly hit the button to play Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls."

i thought i was going to pee my pants.