ok. i have to do it. i have to say it. it's all karen's fault.

she's been church shopping in her new town. her stories talk about meeters and greeters and youth groups and coffees and get-to-know-yous and tours and welcome nights and new member picnics and all of these awesome things so many churches do to make their new members feel welcome.

after 10 years, i am still waiting for someone to show me where the bathroom is in my church.

ok, not really, but it did take me about 4 years to figure out it was behind this door and down these really narrow stairs and down the hall all the way to the end in the basement. mostly i was too shy to ask. but still. BUT STILL.


so why am i so fired up? today, actually. as i was serving people coffee after a funeral, i can't tell you how many people asked me, "now who are you? are you new in town? no? new to the church then?" oh, wait. yes i can. six. and three of them were in my altar society group.

um. NO. i've lived her 10 years. i've gone to church here for 10 years. we go nearly every week. i help out at functions. i helped teach at summer bible school. my husband does chores for Father Bob. he's on the parish council. my kids were baptized here. i became a catholic here.

and still, nobody seems to know us.

as i sit here writing this, i realize i have no right to whine. i know what the problem is. i'm actually part of it. if a new family walked into our church next week, i wouldn't have a clue. i wouldn't go out of my way to say hello, because i wouldn't know they were new. as a marketing person, i know the answer. there needs to be a change in the way people are welcomed. it's an easy fix, really. but not one i really want to bring up (after all, i'm new :) )

i have toyed with the idea of talking to father bob or sister jane or SOMEONE about some of the great things other churches do for new members, existing members and the youth. even just a welcome packet for new people, an introduction at the end of mass and a little bio on the family in the weekly bulletin. i'm chicken, though. and now that i know more people, it doesn't matter quite as much--until a day like today comes along and i leave the building feeling like a total moron.

so...my question: is it like this for everyone? do most of you out there actually know most of the people in your church, or am i just delusional? what do other churches do to help people of all ages get to know each other? or is it just not possible? do any of you get asked "are you new" all the time?

i'm not a boat-rocker. but i am curious. :)