Ok, about the helicopter. I need some flying lessons. 

Like, when a kid forgets to pack all his homework in his bag but remembers on the way home, do I fly back to school to save his butt? 

When the same kid does his really hard math homework and makes stupid mistakes due to bad handwriting and not paying attention, do I fly in with the helicopter to save the day or do I let the teacher deal and hope he learns a lesson?

When I notice the trombone sitting by the door on band day and ask several times "sure you have everything today?" and the boy says "yes mom" several times, what do I do with that helicopter...because you KNOW it's gassed up and ready for take-off.

I know. I know. Stop shaking your heads. 

I love my shiny red helicopter. Swooping in to save the day, organize lives and keep butts out of trouble is my JOB. 

Even though I know it's not. 

You know?

Damn helicopter.