tonite i'm going to an event where i have to dress like a fancy girl and pretend i know how to be social.

actually, i can pull off Fancy Girl pretty well for awhile. the back of my closet is full of dress-up clothes, leftover from the days of awards shows and black tie holiday parties. thing is,you can dress this girl up but...you know the rest. Sweatpant Momma is bound to come out. she's the one who always spills something that stains, trips up the stairs and swigs beer straight out of the bottle. Fancy Girl and Sweatpant Momma usually collide after a cocktail or two, and they're both generally embarrassed of each other. Sweatpant Momma knows Fancy Girl has no business dressing like that, and Fancy Girl wishes for one night that Sweatpant Momma would just stay home.

but...she never does. i guess even Sweatpant Momma likes a good party. and Fancy Girl? she never really stands a chance.

anyway, wish us luck. i think we're both going to need it.