just for fun, i thought you could join me on a little morning adventure with the husband. his morning routine drives me crazy. mostly because he invites a herd of elephants over and all of them apparently need to turn on every light in the house in order to function, including the light right over my head.

anyway. the husband starts his morning with a really loud alarm that goes off at 5:15 or so. it takes him at least a full minute to wake up, fumble around, drop the clock, find it, drop it again and then shut it off. then he lays in bed for a bit, making ridiculous amounts of noise and flopping around until he decides it's time to get up.

there is one really cute thing he does at this point. he walks from our bedroom to the bathroom with his eyes closed. it's like he's trying to squeeze in just a little more sleep.

unfortunately, i know that he does this, which means i am awake at 5:15 watching him do it. sigh. please keep in mind throughout this post that i am not an early morning person.

next he goes to take a shower. sometimes he forgets to shut the bathroom door. the one that's about 4 feet away from my crabby head. so i get up and slam it, but i'm sure he doesn't notice because by now the water is running and he is singing johnny cash.

after the shower, he gathers up his garanimals (matching work clothes) and lumbers with his elephant friends into the laundry room, where they all have an ironing party. the dogs get in on the fun at this point, and i listen to the husband converse with them, possibly using a megaphone.

next he opens all the cupboard doors, eats his breakfast, leaves everything all over the kitchen and begins searching for his keys, his wallet, his nametag and his shoes. he can't find any of them, so the elephants pitch in to help. they look all over. open all the doors, slam them shut. turn on more lights. stomp around. open drawers. slam them shut. open, slam, open, slam. those elephants are very thorough.

finally, mercifully, the husband realizes he is late and he runs loudly out the door, slams it hard to make sure it's shut and rushes off to work. all the lights are on. all the cupboards and drawers are open. however, all the elephants have left. God bless 'em.

twenty minutes later, my alarm goes off.

like the husband always says, sure must be nice to be me, getting to sleep in every morning.